I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
