bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
