What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
