3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
God, I missed his penis.
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