A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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