A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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