going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
