hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
