You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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