Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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