Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
