..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
