It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
how can u be prego again
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize