I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
