Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
