I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
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Is it penis luge time yet?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
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he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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