you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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