that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
