so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
