Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
