u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
