I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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