it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize