the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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