Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
