You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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