You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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