Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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