This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
