Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
