Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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