is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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