I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
