at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
