i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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