I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
