"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
