brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
