Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
