If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
