Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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