I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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