Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
