Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
