I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
she pinky promised me she was 18
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
