it hurts more in the daytime
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
