Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
