I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
