it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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