uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
