Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
