it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
