This girl is more easily done than said...
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
