i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
