I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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