I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
