I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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