i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
