I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
