I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
