why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
