She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Randomize
