It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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