I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
