He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
