Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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